Michelle Alley
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November 2024
I grew up in a family dedicated to their faith. My parents faithfully brought us to Mass, sent us to Catholic school and encouraged us to get involved in church activities and retreats. My earliest memory of my grandparents is seeing them on their knees at night with little prayer cards and a rosary. My parents were very involved in our parish as Lectors, Extraordinary Ministers, Parish Council members, and CCD teachers. In my mind this was just what you did so at 11 years old I started volunteering to be a helper with the CCD program. I have either worked or volunteered in some form of religious education since then.
In my junior year of high school, my religion teacher, Sandy Meyer, was such an inspiration that I knew that’s what I wanted to do as my career. In college I attended and worked with TEC retreats, which had a huge impact on my faith. I began teaching religion after college. I continued my education by taking certification classes and attending Notre Dame’s lay ministry program, ILEM. The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn!
Through my work my classes, and my faith experiences in the many ministries at St. Catherine, I started to struggle with the fact that I never had any big faith experiences or big AHA moments. People would share their big moment stories, and I always felt like “Why wasn’t God giving me a moment like that”. It really made me feel kind of like my faith was inferior in a way. I had always shared this with Fr. Tim. One day he sent me a writing from St. Theresa of Avila where she said, “not everyone experiences a single, large "conversion moment" and that gradual spiritual growth is also a valid path to a deeper relationship with God.” So, I became content with attending daily Mass, praying the rosary and other novenas and prayers and trying to carve out time for daily prayer. This is where I talked to God, but didn’t do a whole lot of listening.
About 3 years ago, my mom had a sudden medical emergency that put her in the hospital for 6 months. It was during that time that I realized how close God was to me and how he was sending me angels almost daily in that medical facility. It wasn’t the hospital chaplains that ministered to me, it was the lady mopping the floor, who stopped and sang the Divine Mercy chaplet with the music that I had on, the man fixing the paper towel machine who told me he would pray for us, the lady changing out the garbage who stopped and told me to keep the faith, and another lady cleaning who told me Jesus would take care of us. And he did. My mom woke up from a three-and-a-half-month coma, went through rehab, and although still needs care, she is doing well.
It was through this whole experience that I realized that when we slow down and are
quiet enough (like sitting in a quiet hospital room), we can finally hear God’s voice. However, sitting quietly was never a strength of mine. When my mom came home, we settled into a routine helping my dad take care of my mom for about 2 years and then the unthinkable happened…my dad had a stroke one year ago on November 15, 2023. My sister and I moved into their home and have been there since. We have seen the hand of God working through others daily starting with our husbands who hold down the fort at home and work tirelessly to make sure we have everything we need. We see Him in the caretakers that are here faithfully and have become part of our family. We are blessed with family and friends who send us food, run errands for us, and just come to visit, which is most important to our parents.
My parents faithfully watch SCS Mass on Sundays, with so much reverence as if
they were in church. Their pastor and fellow parishioners at St. Jerome make sure they receive communion twice a week. Even in their disabilities, they are still such faith-filled people. It is so humbling to see God work through so many extraordinary people. This is where all of my faith lessons are being learned.
My little routine of 7am Mass and prayer time were not an option anymore. Daily Mass before work had been my way to start the day off for many years and I felt frustrated and wondered why God wouldn’t make a way for me to go to Mass! God spoke to me one day through someone that showed up at my office door. He made it very clear that this was where I was to be right now. St. Martin de Porres said, “Everything, even sweeping, scraping vegetables, weeding a garden and waiting
on the sick could be a prayer, if it were offered to God.” I take comfort in this; however, I don’t always do this with the best of attitudes. Some days I do it kicking and screaming. I am convinced that God has been trying to get me to come out of my self-absorbed, self-centered ways. He still has a lot of work to do in that area, but I am grateful for the lessons along the way.
Taking care of elderly parents is so full of challenges, both physical and emotional. I feel very blessed to have my sister, a caretaker by nature and by career, to guide me. Everyday her loving ways teach me more about Jesus than all that theological education I received. I feel such compassion for those who are doing this alone. No matter where I go and mention what is going on in my life, someone else shares their
experiences doing the same thing with their parents. So many have had this experience or are currently going through it. My dream is to somehow start a caretaker support group, but most people in this situation don’t have the time! But the Lord keeps
sending me amazing people who share their stories, and I know it will happen one day.
One of my coworkers, Charmaine, told me that when she was taking care of her dad, the Lord made sure to let her know “You are not in charge”. That’s the hardest lesson.
There is so much more that transpired in my 60-year faith journey. Knowing that he is with me and speaking to me through others has been my greatest lesson. I definitely
haven’t mastered quieting down to listen, but I think sometimes he will “yell” above all of the noise to get my attention. One thing I am learning is to look to him in my struggles and say, “OK God, let’s see what good we can do with this one!”