The purpose of this document is to provide insights into what elements are necessary for the Church to fruitfully provide help for those impacted by pornography. While keeping in mind that we did not want to restate what is already known by the bishops about the effects of pornography on individuals and families, it seemed important to provide some of the lesser-known dynamics and recent developments in order to provide a context in which to present the types of healing and help that have now become necessary. Although it is clear that we are unable to stop the growing epidemic of pornography exposure and addiction, the Church is still in the position, because of her understanding of the mystery of the human person and hope in God’s mercy, to be an effective “field hospital” for the many who are affected.
The major factor in the rise of pornography addiction in recent years has been the exponential growth of internet-based material. Internet pornography has been proven to have much more profound and debilitating effects that are much harder to overcome than previous forms. The reasons for this are many: it is extremely easy to access, it provides a feeling of anonymity, it is affordable (mostly free for the user), and there seems to be an infinite amount of material of an infinite variety. Combined with these, sexual temptation, natural curiosity and desire, and the learned habit of immediately searching out the answer to all questions and curiosities via the internet have made it extremely difficult for those we serve of all ages, both male and female. 79% of men and 76% of women aged 18–30 report viewing pornography at least once a month, while 63% of men and 21% of women aged 18–30 view pornography at least several times a week. Although men are still much more likely than women to view pornography, the gap between them is shrinking rapidly.
The majority of web searches are for sexually explicit material, and the use of online pornography is often seen as normal behavior by many, especially the young. 66.5% of young men and 48.7% of young women said viewing pornographic material is an acceptable way to express one’s sexuality. (Jason S. Carroll, Laura M. Padilla-Walker, Larry J. Nelson, Chad D. Olson, Carolyn McNamara Barry, and Stephanie D. Madsen, “Generation XXX: Pornography acceptance and use among emerging adults.” Journal of Adolescent Research 23 (2008): 6-30.) Almost half (46%) of teenagers say “sending sexual or naked photos or videos is part of everyday life for teenagers nowadays.” (2014 Institute of Public Policy Research)
It is clear that the anthropology depicted by pornographic material is believed as truth. A number of studies since the 1970’s have confirmed that the more a person is exposed to pornography, the more accepting and permissive they are of both sexually deviant behavior and violent behavior. Even among those who believe that viewing pornography is immoral, there are many who carry the lies about human sexuality learned through their exposure to pornography into their marriages and other relationships. These lies are deeply learned and are extremely difficult to overcome. Recent research shows that what is portrayed is processed by the brain as if it is actually happening to the viewer.
It must also be mentioned that the overwhelming majority of pornography usage is also accompanied by masturbation. This activity greatly increases the effect pornography has on the individual, deeply forms sexual appetites, and exacerbates the addiction process creating neurological and relational bonds to the subject matter being viewed. This also often leads to a desire and an effort to act out sexually, to experience what is being portrayed. This can quickly become the individual’s most important goal and subtly defines for them their life’s purpose. Though there are instances when pornography is not accompanied by masturbation, and many more instances when masturbation is not accompanied by pornography, for the remainder of the document, we will generally assume that the pornography usage mentioned is also accompanied by compulsive masturbation and the effects of it.
The effects of pornography use range from the biological and neurological to the psychological and sociological. Men who habitually view pornography have an increasingly higher acceptance of abnormal sexual behaviors, sexual aggression, and promiscuity, as well as rape and other violent acts. Increased tolerance and acceptance can be partially explained by the brain’s response to the flood of dopamine and other chemicals experienced while viewing pornography. As the dopamine receptors become overwhelmed, the brain responds by shutting down some of the receptors. This causes the individual to experience less pleasure from pornography use (as well as other activities that formerly provided pleasure) as the addiction progresses, and, in turn, to respond with an increased use of pornography, often increasingly graphic in nature.
In addition to the systematic shutdown of dopamine receptors, when addicted to pornography, particularly internet pornography, parts of the brain often experience a sort of atrophy identical to the type of damage seen in those addicted to gambling, alcohol, and drugs. This takes place primarily in the prefrontal cortex, rendering the addict far less capable of relating to and bonding with other people, as well as greatly damaging his or her ability to moderate social behaviors. The drastic decrease in use of the prefrontal cortex, that is, constant reliance upon parts of the brain used in lower functioning, also impairs logical and moral decision-making, especially involving the ability to project future consequences.
It should be mentioned that not all who view pornography are addicted. There are some who view pornography occasionally, but do not experience the cravings, the overwhelming response to triggers, and the interference in their daily lives that addiction causes. However, because of recent developments, even occasional usage has deep and lasting effects on one’s understanding of the nature of the human person, sexuality, and relationships. Also, because of the powerful effects of current pornographic material, its cultural normalization, and the ubiquity of material, occasional use can easily become compulsive. So, unless we are given substantial time to work with someone who has reported pornography usage to understand their particular situation, the approach should probably be the same as if the behavior were compulsive or that the individual was soon approaching the level of addiction.
As the addiction process begins, the damage done to the reasoning capacity of the user hinders his or her ability to relate to God. Also, the truths learned through exposure to pornography combined with the deep shame experienced by most users make it difficult to receive God’s love and mercy, so the soul is placed in serious danger. Pornography is a grave offense against chastity and the dignity of the conjugal act, and it violates the dignity of each user, especially the dignity of each individual involved in the production of pornography.
It has become increasingly clear that individuals who use pornography are not the only ones affected by their behavior; the effect on the family of the user is far-reaching and devastating. Individuals using pornography often experience a progressive disabling of arousal capabilities in real sexual encounters with their spouse. The ability to communicate properly with one’s spouse and children becomes greatly impaired. Because the brain processes exposure to pornography in the same way as actual sexual activity, the brain often becomes trained from a young age to be attracted to promiscuity and to “need” a variety of partners. This most commonly leads to an experience of marital dissatisfaction and dissociation of sexual relations from emotional intimacy. These realities correlate to an increase of one spouse pressuring the other to participate in sexually deviant or harmful activities, infidelity, domestic abuse, separation, and divorce.
The effects on the spouses of those who use pornography are usually traumatic and devastating, but this is frequently overlooked. In addition to feelings of betrayal, anger, and inadequacy, spouses often experience feelings of loss and depression. The divide created in marriages by pornography use is often as damaging as full physical infidelity. Due to the length and breadth of the deception often involved in pornography addiction in marriage, spouses of the addicted often experience lengthy periods of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder upon discovery. Studies show that the greater the length of the marriage prior to disclosure of an addiction, the more severe the experience of PTSD symptoms will be. Typically beginning a few months after discovery, spouses (particularly women) will experience various symptoms of psychological, emotional, social, and even physical impairment. This almost always requires some type of professional therapy and/or support system.
Children of those who use pornography, are at a greater risk for becoming a user of pornography, and they risk the effects of encountering their parent using pornography. Use of pornography often affects a parent’s ability to provide the warmth and affection needed for the proper emotional, social, and even physical development of children. It also puts children at much greater risk of being sexually abused or objectified. Even if the parent who is using pornography works to hide it well, their capacity to relate on a deep level and provide necessary intimacy will be greatly inhibited.
One of the major reasons for the immense impact that internet pornography has had on so many is that there are so many obstacles to preventing pornography exposure:
After an overview of both the effects of pornography exposure and some of the reasons why there are so many who are affected so deeply by this exposure, we move to discussion of what types of healing are necessary and available.
For individuals who are affected by pornography exposure, both male and female, there are certain elements that must necessarily be a part of any successful efforts to provide help and healing.
We will now give an overview of the types of healing that are available and help to provide for the necessary elements listed above:
It has been a relatively recent development in the understanding of pornography addiction recovery that the spouses of those who are addicted need specific and substantial attention, and that they cannot really provide the right kind of support for the recovery of their spouse until they first get help with their own wounds. The great majority of information on this deals with the wives of men who are addicted to pornography. It has been discovered that they often show symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and require professional help to recover properly. Many women, once they discover their husband’s behavior, blame themselves and come to the conclusion that if they were desirable enough or did enough for their husbands, they would not have felt the need to turn to pornography. This deeply affects their self-worth and often leads to depression. These women need to hear that it really has nothing to do with them, but this is a hard truth to understand or believe. Professional help is a must, and group support can be extremely helpful, either in person or by phone. It seems that having the phone option is important since many husbands would rather their wives not share their struggles with anyone, and it can be more difficult for women to be regularly away from the house, especially if they have young children.
The children of those who are addicted (or who live in the household of those addicted) will need special attention, as well. Their formation regarding human sexuality is affected by their parent/guardian’s understanding of it, which is informed by pornography, and the likelihood of their exposure beginning at a very young age is high.
It is extremely important for clergy to receive some education not only regarding the effects of pornography, but also what it does to the spouses and families of those who are affected. Because of how quickly these dynamics have developed over time, many clergy struggle to relate to the powerful effects of internet pornography, especially for the young. There are some resources that provide strategies for clergy, especially in the Sacrament of Confession and in spiritual direction where most of the conversations about pornography usage and addiction occur. ReclaimSexualHealth.com and IntegrityRestored.com provide some very helpful resources, and Fr. Sean Kilcawley, Director of the Family Life Office of the Diocese of Lincoln, is a nationally respected authority for helping priests understand the nature of the effects of pornography and strategies for aiding in the recovery process.
Although the constant growth of the numbers of individuals and families affected by pornography is overwhelming, our hope that God can provide the needed healing and wholeness is strengthened by the knowledge and strong resources that have been made available to us in recent years. Many are receiving the necessary help that only the Church can provide, and it is our hope that our efforts in this area will make it possible for more structures of support and healing to be established and strengthened. We trust that God will continue to provide both the guidance and the resources necessary, and we will continue to offer our prayers for those who are being called to serve in this capacity and for those who are in such deep need of help.
Respectfully Submitted January 3, 2018
David Dawson, Jr., Archdiocese of New Orleans, Chair
Darryl Ducote, Diocese of Baton Rouge
Fr. Jude Halphen, Diocese of Lafayette
Fr. Bruce Miller, Diocese of Alexandria
Cathy Klingman, Diocese of Houma/Thibodeaux
Rickard Newman, Diocese of Lake Charles
Doty Sue Stanford, Diocese of Shreveport